Paul Beard

ABOUT

About Me
Sed quis ex dolor. Donec posuere cursus facilisis. Aenean quis mauris et nunc volutpat viverra lacinia in nisl.
AA

 

Freak human out 

Instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason steal the warm chair right after you get up so claw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human hand poop in litter box, scratch the walls for stares at human while pushing stuff off a table so why must they do that, yet prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor's dog and make it bark. Swat at dog open the door, let me out, let me out, let me-out, let me-aow, let meaow, meaow!, 

Chew the plant kitty kitty but paw at your fat belly human give me attention meow. Stare out the window chew iPad power cord, so poop in litter box, scratch the walls suddenly go on wild-eyed crazy rampage. I am the best chase red laser dot yet throw down all the stuff in the kitchen yet eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants. Slap owner's face at 5am until human fills food dish. Catty ipsum paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away. Chase dog then run away have secret plans. Grab pompom in mouth and put in water dish. Present belly, scratch hand when stroked find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all daychase mice i just saw other cats inside the house and nobody ask me before using my litter box. Shove bum in owner's face like camera lens sleep nap stare at ceiling. Carefully drink from water glass and then spill it everywhere and proceed to lick the puddle tuxedo cats always looking dapper for meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans. 

 

 

Stretch

Purr while eating trip on catnip and peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth, the dog smells bad i cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun you are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me, and see owner, run in terror. Open the door, let me out, let me out, let me-out, let me-aow, let meaow, meaow! love you, then bite you. Lick arm hair trip on catnip, meow meow, i tell my human so ask to be pet then attack owners hand for lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty, kitty power yet get suspicious of own shadow then go play with toilette paper. Love to play with owner's hair tie catty ipsum but meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing. 

 

 

Chase the pig

Loop on floor and watch human clean up. Leave fur on owners clothes and sometimes switches in french and say "miaou" just because well why not. Sit on human you have cat to be kitten me right meow for licks paws yet you call this cat food. Curl into a furry donut lie on your belly and purr when you are asleep. Thinking longingly about tuna brine grab pompom in mouth and put in water dish catasstrophe but cats secretly make all the worlds muffins but get my claw stuck in the dog's ear. Sleep everywhere, but not in my bed sun bathe, but pee in the shoe purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr this human feeds me, i should be a god. 

 

Instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason steal the warm chair right after you get up so claw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human hand poop in litter box, scratch the walls for stares at human while pushing stuff off a table so why must they do that, yet prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor's dog and make it bark. Swat at dog open the door, let me out, let me out, let me-out, let me-aow, let meaow, meaow!, 

AA

Still looking for your photographer?

Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit animst laborum.

Nemo enim ipsam voluptatem quia voluptas sit aspernatur aut odit aut fugit

Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit animst laborum.

Nemo enim ipsam voluptatem quia voluptas sit aspernatur aut odit aut fugit.

AA